It’s been over two months since I’ve last written. When I start to get down, or make the excuse of being too busy, then the first things I tend to neglect, are the things that are most important to my self-care.
When depression hits, my motivation disappears and the excuses creep in even though, deep down, I know it is depression. I know it’s a sign that I am going to be struggling for a while. But, it is easier to make excuses and pretend I am just too busy to get anything done for me instead of admitting there’s this thing that I cannot control that just randomly comes and goes with no explanation. I will never be 100% fine, and I struggle with that fact.
So, I am going to focus on the positive changes that have happened. As far as my book reading goal, I will be starting book 12, tonight! So, I am still ahead of the game. I’ve already read more books this year than I have last year. And, I know that I will continue to read on a regular basis, creating the same goal for next year. Reading at night has been a constant for me, and I no longer beat myself up when I skip a night because I recognize that finding a remedy for my exhaustion is more important in that moment.
I am down 16.8 pounds as of today! I am still doing my fast, which has helped me curb my appetite and has really helped with portion control! I do still indulge occasionally which I want to work on, but if I have a bad snack, I limit myself, and I’ve never done that before.
I started my Couch to 5k program up again. I skipped last week because, well, the cloud (my name for depression), but I am starting week 2 today.
I quit my job I held for almost six years; quit the field I was in for ten. WHAT! I know! I never would have done this if it weren’t for the support of my family. This change was better for my immediate family, overall, and I still have no regrets after almost a month since I left. I normally would feel extreme guilt and regret, but I honestly don’t! I am working from home where, essentially, I am my own boss. I get to have the two youngest babies at home with me, who are so good at entertaining themselves. We have a pretty good routine going for ourselves; I am still just perfecting my own routine.
In addition to my new at-home position, I’ve taken the risk of being a Market Partner with Monat! That is a post in and of itself so I am going to stop for now.
I am going to try to post at least once a week!